Entering the “real world” after university can be an exciting yet challenging time in a young adult’s life. As a parent, watching your child navigate the daunting task of job hunting can leave you feeling a mixture of pride but can also be a cause for concern, especially if your son or daughter is seemingly struggling to find a job after university.
This concern can be amplified by the fact that you’ve witnessed the hard work that they’ve put into their studies, and now you want nothing more than for them to get a good job, one that will match their skills and interests and importantly, one that will keep them happy.
While you might be tempted to dive in and actively help them with their job search, sometimes subtlety is the best approach. After all, you don’t want your concern to come across as overbearing and you don’t want your son or daughter to get defensive.
Here are six understated ways to support your adult child as they search for a job without being overbearing.
1. Be a Listening Ear, Not Just an Advice Column
Every rejection or challenging interview can be disheartening for your child. Rather than immediately offering advice or solutions, simply listen. Let them vent, express their frustrations, and share their hopes.
Validate their feelings. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to whom they can trust can be the most significant form of support. Sharing their experiences aloud may help them gain a deeper understanding of issues and initiate their problem-solving process.
If your son or daughter is open and willing to share their graduate job search experience – great! Ensure that you provide a quiet safe space in a relaxed environment to listen to them. If on the other hand, they are not as open to sharing their experiences of looking for a graduate job gently prompt them at a convenient time.
2. Share Resources, Not Directives
Building on the point above about being a listening ear instead of immediately offering verbal solutions (which could cause your son or daughter to become defensive), instead share practical resources that could help them.
Did you come across an interesting article about CV writing or a workshop on interview skills? Share it with them, but without pressure. A simple, “Thought this might interest you,” can be less imposing than, “You should definitely do this.”
Other resources that you may be able to offer your son or daughter to help them get a graduate job include:
- Examples of CVs (which could be yours, or an example online) that demonstrate skills and experiences very well.
- Videos online sharing interview or job search-related content (oddly enough, sometimes our children take in advice shared by others rather than their own parents!).
- The Graduate book – This book written by the founder of Graduate Coach, Chris Davies outlines everything graduates need to know to do really well in their graduate job.
3. Offer Networking Opportunities, Not just Contacts
In the spirit of sharing resources with your son or daughter to aid with their job search, if you have contacts in your child’s desired field, introduce them subtly.
Instead of directly giving their details, perhaps arrange a casual meet-up or mention your child’s aspirations in passing. This allows your child the autonomy to decide if and how they’d like to approach these contacts. A warm and friendly introduction is also less intimidating than reaching out to a complete stranger, which your son or daughter may greatly appreciate, especially if they are new to networking.
4. Celebrate Small Wins during their Graduate Job Search Journey
The journey to a graduate job is filled with little victories – a callback, a second interview, or even positive feedback.
Celebrate these moments, even if they don’t directly result in a job offer. It can be a great morale booster and a reminder that every effort is a step closer to their goal.
Consider setting up a mini-celebration for reaching milestones, like treating them to a favourite meal or takeaway, watching a movie together, or going for a walk in the park. These moments of recognition not only boost their confidence but also remind them that every effort is valuable and brings them closer to their goal of landing a good graduate-level job.
These moments of celebration during their job search process can provide them with the motivation that they need to keep going with their search.
5. Respect Their Independence
It’s natural to want to be involved, but it’s also essential to let them take the lead. Trust in the skills and values you’ve instilled in them.
If they ask for help, offer it, but refrain from being too proactive or making decisions on their behalf.
- Respect their boundaries – avoid prying into every detail of their job search, or asking them too frequently for updates. This can become annoying or frustrating to them especially if they are going through a period where their progress is slow. Instead, aim to let them initiate some of the conversations about their job search.
- Be patient – it may take your son or daughter several months or even years to land the right graduate job. Don’t become impatient and try to take over elements of their job search such as sending applications or contacting recruiters on their behalf, as this may hinder them. Read more about what not to do when your son or daughter is looking for a graduate job.
6. Keep the Home Environment Positive
Job hunting can be mentally exhausting. Ensuring that home remains a stress-free and positive environment can do wonders for their mental well-being.
Simple gestures, like cooking their favourite meal or setting up a calm workspace, can provide the comfort they need during this challenging phase.
- Limit negative talk: Do this by avoiding lengthy discussions about the job market and graduate prospects and shift your focus onto areas of improvement and opportunities instead.
- Maintain a sense of normalcy at home: do this by continuing to attend family gatherings and continuing with family gatherings. These provide your son or daughter with a well-deserved break in sending out applications, helping to prevent them from suffering from burnout or application fatigue.
Conclusion
The transition from university to the professional world is a rite of passage, filled with its ups and downs. As parents, the most impactful support often comes from understanding, patience, and unwavering belief in your son or daughter’s capabilities.
By adopting a subtle approach, you will empower your son or daughter to face challenges head-on while knowing they have a strong support system to fall back on. Be a listening ear, offer actionable support, not just verbal advice, refrain from bringing up negative news or becoming impatient, and strive to maintain a level of normalcy at home. These tips, whilst subtle, will help your son or daughter through their job search. Remember, if your son or daughter is particularly struggling with their job search, or it has been several months or even years since your son or daughter graduated, get in touch with us here at Graduate Coach. Enjoyed this post? Check out our post on how to gently encourage your son or daughter to get a job after university.
Featured image by Kampus Production from Pexels
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