Whilst many people associate university with meeting new people from across the globe and partying, for many it can be a lonely experience at times. This is completely normal, as almost half of UK students (46 per cent) admit to feeling lonely at university, and 37 per cent consider dropping out. The good news is that this feeling can be overcome.
As the UK’s foremost Graduate Coaching company, we have supported hundreds of university students who have reported feelings of loneliness. In this post, we combine our experience and expertise of helping students with prominent research in this area to share top tips on how to overcome this feeling that often overshadows the joys of uuniversity life.
Understanding Loneliness
Loneliness is a subjective experience characterised by a discrepancy between one’s desired and actual social connections. As clinical psychologist Dr. Meghan Marcum explains, “Loneliness is a distressing feeling of isolation or lack of connected, trusting relationships.”
The Effects of Loneliness on Students
Loneliness can significantly impact students’ thoughts and behaviors, leading to psychological distress and altered cognitive functions. Research indicates that loneliness is associated with increased stress and decreased cognitive resources, which can impair academic performance and decision-making.
Additionally, loneliness has been linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression among students, further affecting their mental health and daily functioning.
Why do students feel lonely at university?
University students may experience loneliness due to several factors associated with the transition to higher education. A study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health identifies determinants such as changes in social networks, academic pressures, and the physical relocation associated with starting university. These transitions can disrupt existing social ties and present challenges in forming new connections, contributing to feelings of loneliness among students.
Students, tend to feel lonely at university as a result of:
- Moving away from home – Students who move out to live on campus, or in student accommodation can experience loneliness as a result of moving away from their family and friends who live nearby.
- Finding it difficult to make new friends at university. Making new friends at university is not easy for everyone. Some students begin to feel lonely at university, due to not making new friends that they can study and socialise with.
- Being a mature or international student. Some students who come from abroad or mature students may feel out of step with their peers and therefore, find it more difficult to make new friends, resulting in them feeling lonely at university.
Actionable Tips on How to Deal with Feelings of Loneliness at University
1: Remember to take care of yourself
When experiencing feelings of loneliness, it can be easy to retreat into yourself. Sometimes you can blame the loneliness on some personal fault and beat yourself up about it. This will not help you cure your loneliness. It is important to go easy on yourself and care for yourself.
This can mean doing things that you enjoy. Keep up with whatever hobbies you might have, whether that is playing sports, reading or going to the cinema.
It is important for your mental health, in general, to eat well and give yourself plenty of sleep. If you are well-rested and feeling energetic due to a good diet, it will be easier to socialise and build relationships.
Mindfulness techniques can enhance emotional regulation and reduce the negative thought patterns associated with loneliness.
2: Keep going to classes
Make sure you continue to attend lectures and classes despite your loneliness. Cutting off social contact will not help. Also, you do not want to fall behind as this will add to your problems. Maintaining your attendance will give you opportunities to interact with your classmates and gradually build relationships.
You and your classmates are all there for the same reason, so try starting up a conversation about a particular topic that interests you. You could also ask to see if they want to study together.
Even just taking a walk around your campus will give you some fresh air and perhaps leave you feeling better.
3: Join a society
Joining a society is a great way to meet people that share your passions. There are societies for every kind of interest imaginable, from languages to films. They are great for introducing you to new social groups and getting you out and about.
Many universities have a wide range of clubs and societies, from sports teams to academic groups to cultural organizations.
For example, if you are into sports, joining a sporting society is obviously a good idea as it requires teamwork which is great for building relationships. Whatever you are into, societies are always a brilliant option to combat loneliness.
4: Don’t feel like you’re stuck with one group of friends
The relationships you build at the beginning can often feel a bit forced. Do not feel you have to stick with one group of friends just because you live with them. If you feel like you do not quite fit in, then try to meet new people, whether they are classmates or people in a society.
5: Exercise regularly
Exercise is good for your mental health. Whether you prefer going to the gym, running, yoga, or playing sports, it is all good for your brain and releasing endorphins. It will also get you out of your room and interact with the world.
6: Don’t let tiredness affect your friendships
Perhaps you are studying too hard and burning out. Try to maintain your relationships by regularly seeing your friends. If you are tired from studying all the time then this will likely add to feelings of loneliness.
It isn’t necessary to go clubbing or partying if that is not your thing. Even if it is just to study together, human interaction will make you feel better.
7: Get out of your room
Try not to dwell in your room too much. This will not help you get out of a negative rut. If you sit alone in your room too often you will end up feeling even lonelier.
Try venturing out, even if it is just for a walk around the campus. You could also try studying in a café or the library, somewhere with people around.
8: Part-time jobs
A part-time job at university is always a good idea. You will earn money to help with the costs of university life and you will meet new people.
This will help you feel less isolated and might lead to meaningful relationships with your colleagues. If you get a sociable job in sales for example or in a restaurant, you will have the chance to chat with different people every day.
Here you can read more about tips for working part-time at university.
9: Change your seat in lectures
Do not feel just because you have sat in the same seat every day for two weeks that you have to stay there forever.
Try switching up where you sit to be able to chat with new people. You never know who you might click with and what events you might get invited to.
10: Hang out in the communal areas
If you find yourself spending a lot of time in your room, consider hanging out in the communal areas instead.
Even if you don’t feel like being social, it is a good idea to force yourself once in a while to maintain contact with people and practice socialising and getting to know your peers. This will help you build relationships with the people you live with and make the experience more pleasant.
11: Friendships Take Time
When you get older, there are no shortcuts to making good friends. Genuine friendships take time to form and effort to maintain. However, in the long run, it is always worth the hard work.
It would be nice to make close friends in freshers’ week but you need to be realistic. The more time you spend out and about and interacting with different people, the better chances you will have of meeting people you get on with.
12: Take breaks from studying
Studying to educate yourself is of course the main reason people go to university. However, you don’t want to neglect the other aspects of it and miss out on opportunities and experiences. Spending all your time studying will not help you feel less lonely.
Give yourself a schedule with breaks that will allow you to go outside and visit your friends. Try to regularly attend a club or society and other social events. Socialising is good for your mental health and may help clear your head so that when you return to studying you find yourself retaining more information.
13: If your Loneliness does not pass, reach out to someone
Feelings of loneliness at university are completely normal and there are many others who feel the same as you.
If you find that your loneliness is persisting and getting you down, try reaching out to a close friend or family member to talk to. You can also always visit the campus support centre as well.
Do not put off visiting a GP either if you feel you need to. Your mental health is very important.
If you feel like you need extra help, and are really struggling with feeling lonely at university, there are many mental health helplines including Mind and the Samaritans.
Feeling Lonely at Uni?
Remember that feeling lonely at uni is a common experience, and it’s okay to reach out for support. By taking steps to connect with others and explore your new environment, you can overcome loneliness and enjoy your university experience.
Featured photo by Jeswin Thomas from Pexels
Author Bio: Chris Davies: Expert Career Coach and Published Author
Chris Davies is widely recognised as the UK’s top graduate career coach. Founder of Graduate Coach, he has over a decade of experience helping 5,000+ university students and graduates launch successful careers. His guidance has paved the way for alumni to excel at leading global firms such as Amazon, Google, and Deloitte, as well as public institutions like the NHS and the Civil Service.
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