If you are the parent of a graduate who is struggling to secure employment post-graduation, you likely have a parental instinct to step in and offer support and advice to get them back on track. However, where this approach may have worked when they were a child or even a teenager to some extent, you may find your son or daughter becomes defensive when you try to lend a hand to guide them on their journey from education to employment.
This post outlines how you can successfully host constructive career conversations with your graduate without initiating an argument.
1: Timing is key – Pick the right time and setting to initiate the conversation
Timing is important when discussing graduate career discussions. Initiating the conversation when your graduate is relaxing on the sofa or is particularly stressed or overwhelmed may backfire.
Instead, wait for a relaxed moment in a casual setting such as whilst on a walk or over a casual shared meal (with just you and them) to initiate the conversation. Calmer environments will help the conversation feel more like an open, supportive chat and less like an interrogation.
Remember: Your child will be well aware of the expectations placed on them in terms of getting a graduate job. They likely have already applied to several opportunities with little or no success. On top of this, they may be seeing their uni peers land jobs and may feel a bit behind and overwhelmed. An alternative to approaching them at a good time is giving them the space to come to you for a career chat in their own time.
2: Ask open-ended career questions
It can be tempting to offer your grad advice based on your own experiences or to share very specific solutions. However, whilst this advice is coming from a good place, it may not be relatable to your child.
Instead, ask open-ended questions encouraging them to share their thoughts and plans.
For example:
- “What kind of jobs are you most excited about right now?”
- “What do you feel are your biggest strengths in the workplace?”
- “Is there any area where you feel stuck or unsure about what to do next?”
These types of open-ended questions show that you’re interested in hearing their perspective and allow them to reflect on their own goals and challenges.
Tip: create open discussions led by their thoughts and ideas rather than yours. Be their sounding board rather than someone trying to dictate to them what they should do. This will help your child realise that you genuinely trust their decision-making and respect their hopes and desires for the future. Give them room to explore and discover different paths and reassure them that you’ll be there for them no matter what happens.
3: Offer Support don’t create more pressure
As mentioned before, graduates are generally well aware of the expectations for getting a job after university. Approaching them daily and asking for a report of what jobs have been applied for and how many job interviews they have lined up can really heighten their stress and impact your relationship.
Affirmations like these:
- “I know the job market is tough right now, but I’m confident you’ll find the right opportunity.”
- “I’m here if you want to talk or need help with anything, like reviewing your resume or preparing for interviews.”
Can be received better by a graduate job seeker, reassuring them that you believe in them and that they are in control.
4: Celebrate wins, even the small ones
It’s important to celebrate even the small wins in the job search process. This could be securing an interview, completing a lengthy application or connecting with a mentor, these small wins can build momentum and set them on the right path to landing a graduate job.
Acknowledge these milestones and praise their persistence, even if the ultimate goal of landing a job hasn’t yet been reached.
For example, you might say:
- “That’s awesome that you got an interview—I’m really proud of how far you’ve come!” This will mean a lot if previously they were sending out applications but not hearing back.
- “It sounds like you’re making great progress. Keep it up!” This can help them to stay motivated and reassure them that they are getting closer to achieving their goal.
5: Hire a Graduate Coach
Hiring a Graduate Coach is an ideal solution for both parents and graduates.
A Graduate Coach provides an objective, expert perspective, offering professional career guidance without the emotional involvement that can sometimes make parent-child conversations challenging.
Graduate Coaches possess in-depth knowledge of the graduate job market and have tailored strategies for job seekers.
Get in touch with Graduate Coach today, we can help your child understand what job suits them best, assess their employability skills, build their CV, improve their interview skills and develop a strong network of industry professionals.
This outside support allows you as parents to step back from the pressure of giving advice while ensuring your graduate is receiving expert assistance to boost their confidence and their chances of graduate employment success.
Final Thoughts
Constructive conversations with your graduate about their career can strengthen your relationship and provide them with the support they need during a challenging time. However, if they are not initiated correctly, they can lead to your child becoming defensive and even arguments. A gentle approach to career discussions can be beneficial in making your graduate feel in control and trusted to make decisions for themselves. Consider supporting them by hiring a Graduate Coach who can offer external support to help them to land a graduate job much sooner whilst equipping them with lifelong skills, networks and opportunities to thrive in their graduate career.
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