How to Cope with Not Seeing Your Child Every Day When they go to University

Sending your child off to university is a major milestone in both of your lives. For parents, it can be a bittersweet experience, filled with mixed emotions. While you’re proud of your son or daughter’s academic accomplishments and are excited about their new journey, it’s also natural to feel a sense of loss and worry about not seeing them every day.

Here are some tips on how to cope with not seeing your child every day when they go to university:

1: Stay Connected

Just because your child is away at university doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch. Make an effort to call, text, or video chat with them regularly. This will not only help you feel connected to your child but also provide them with a sense of comfort and support.

2: Visit Them

Plan regular visits to see your child, whether it’s for a weekend or a holiday. This will give you an opportunity to see their new environment and meet their friends. It’s important to respect your child’s independence, but also show them that you’re still a part of their life.

3: Keep Busy

While your child is away at university, it’s important to keep yourself busy and distracted. Pursue hobbies, spend time with friends and family, or take up a new activity. This will not only help you cope with the absence of your child but also give you something to look forward to.

Your son or daughter starting university may result in you being able to spend more time on yourself, so indulge in some self-care and pursue the activities you may have put on hold for a long time whilst your son or daughter was living at home.

4: Find Support

If you are struggling with having an empty nest after your child moves out, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Here are some ways to find support and cope with your feelings:

1. Connect with other parents – Joining a support group or online forum can provide you with a community of other parents who are going through a similar experience. This can help you feel less isolated and provide you with a space to share your feelings and experiences. Many other mums and dads share advice for parents online that you may find useful.
   
2. Seek professional help – If you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling with depression or separation anxiety, it’s important to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can provide you with the tools and resources you need to manage your emotions and cope with the changes in your life.

5: Trust Your Child

One of the biggest challenges of sending your child off to university is letting go and trusting that they’ll make the right decisions. Remember that your child has been raised to be independent and capable, and they’ll continue to grow and thrive in their new environment.

Once they leave home, it’s important to give them the space and independence they need to grow and succeed. Here are some tips for trusting your child when they go to university:

1. Establish open and honest communication – Make sure your child knows they can come to you with any concerns or questions, and that you’re there to support them. Encourage them to communicate with you regularly, whether it’s through phone calls, text messages, or video chats.
   
2. Set clear expectations – Make sure your child knows what is expected of them in terms of academic performance, behaviour, and responsibilities. Be clear about your expectations and set boundaries that are reasonable and achievable.
   
3. Encourage responsibility and independence – Encourage your child to take responsibility for their own decisions and actions. Let them make mistakes and learn from them, and give them the freedom to make their own choices within reason. Remind them frequently of the importance of developing their employability skills so that they stand the best chance of getting a good graduate job after university.
   
4. Stay informed but not intrusive – Keep up-to-date with your child’s academic progress, career plans and social life, but don’t be overly intrusive or controlling. Let them have their own experiences and make their own decisions.

6: Focus on the Positive

While it’s natural to feel sad about not seeing your child every day, try to focus on the positive aspects of their new journey. Celebrate their achievements, encourage their growth, and be proud of the young adult they’ve become.

There are many positives to your child going to university. First and foremost, university provides your child with the opportunity to gain knowledge and skills that can help them in their future career.

A university education can also broaden your child’s perspective, expose them to new ideas and cultures, and help them develop critical thinking skills.

Additionally, university provides your child with the chance to meet new people, make lifelong friends, and form connections that can be valuable later in life. Living on their own, whether in student housing or in private accommodation, can also help your child develop valuable life skills such as budgeting, time management, and problem-solving.

When your child leaves for university, they may learn how to use the washing machine for the first time, or cook their own dinners. These responsibilities will help them as they transition from their teen years into a young adult.

Finally, university can be a time of personal growth, as your child learns to navigate new challenges and responsibilities, and gains a greater sense of independence and self-confidence.

7: Have a Farewell Party before they Move Out

Throwing a farewell party for your son or daughter before they go to university is a wonderful way to celebrate their achievements and show them how proud you are of them. It’s a great opportunity to bring together family members and friends to say goodbye and wish them well on their next adventure.

This party can help to alleviate any pre-university jitters your child may have and give them a sense of closure before they embark on their new journey. Additionally, it’s a chance to provide them with some practical gifts such as a care package that they will find useful when they’re away from home.

Throwing a farewell party can also be a cathartic experience for you as a parent, allowing you to express your emotions and give your child a memorable send-off.

Conclusion

When a child goes off to university, it can be an emotional time for parents. While it’s a time of pride and excitement, it can also be a time of anxiety and sadness. You may worry about your child’s safety, how they will adjust to being away from home, and if they will be able to handle the academic and social pressures of university life.

This can cause parents to experience feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression. However, there are several things parents can do to help maintain their mental health during this transition period. Staying in touch with their child, finding new hobbies or activities to keep them occupied, and seeking support from family and friends are all effective strategies. Additionally, seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor can provide parents with the tools and resources they need to manage their emotions and stay mentally healthy during this challenging time.

Featured image: Evelyn Chong